Imagineer
I go through another steaming hot 'Lagaan'isque day when the grey clouds hover above in the skies with a promise as weak as the Met Dept who predict their downpour. And if a magical drop falls from these monsoon carriers they raise a heavenly scent of wet earth. Plop! You see the transparent drop sacrificing its droppy existence in a splat and blotching the parched earth and making that wonderful smell in a way which is too experiential to be described. You can capture the drop falling in a camera, capture the drip sound of the droplet as it explodes to its wonderful death but can't capture that scent of the wonderful wet earth - not yet! Imagine the possibilities if you could capture a smell on your mobile or on a special camera. I came, I smelt, I captured!

Even as we delve into new dimensions for audio and video with Surround sound and 3D viewing, we are yet to explore the wonderful realm of another powerful sense - smell! Aroma, odor, reek, scent, tone, spirit would smell just as sweet, pungent, acidic, sickly, woody, aquatic, floral, mushy, earthy or in a horde of other adjectives. But how about recreating them. Perfumes are the closest we've got to recreate aromas - albeit pleasant ones but those are like personal accessories. Think of a whole new mass medium - An audio, video olfactory medium. A theatre where you get to see that raindrop in slow motion falling towards the earth, hearing the splat and smelling that wet earth - in the confines of a theatre. Though experiments have been carried out in spurts regarding these, it never took off as a commercially viable venture.

Smells are very important in triggering memories  - they instantly take you back to other beautiful times much faster than a sound or a sight. Smells that make you recall your mother's cooking, of grandma's mango pickles, of firecracker smoke in Diwali, of nice smelling but harfmul diesel fumes, of new school books, freshly laundered clothes...or bad ones as hospital smells, fish markets and so on. These smells are our closest linkages to our childhood. Wouldn't it be wonderful to open an old black and white album of these scents and get lost in a memory lane of aromas.

Capturing them is the biggest challenge.But men have been known to conceive devices which were sci fi futuristic at one time. So I wouldn't be surprised if smells are captured and converted into a digital format tomorrow. People will share smells across mails and via bluetooth. They will download theme fragrances from the net. Your inbox will be flooded with goody goody forwards of floral smells and I bet there shall be porn sites too! One shall use a iPod with a literal pod which is a mask extension like headphones for smelling various flavors and downloading them from the iSmells store where only Apple flavor can be downloaded for free. Adobe will come up with Odorshop for editing digital smells and kids can write more fresh stuff in their school essay on 'Technology - A Boon or Curse'! SniffDating will be the latest fad and gals will go only for guys who smell good. Menus across coffee shops and hotels can be sniffed for easing the decision to order. There will be a bunch of sick people who'll enjoy horror films where you can smell the blood and gore like I Know How You Smelt Last Summer! In India there will still be pirated media of smells being sold dirt cheap outside stations! Godly channels like Aastha can directly take you closer to the Supreme One by offering you incense and dhoop smells on TV. Channel bouquets will acquire a totally new meaning then. Kids will be tested for their OQ - olfactory quotient. There will be new artists and connoisseurs to create and appreciate fragrances. Multiplexes will have special screens where you can feel the environment of the film and can wrinkle your nose at bad scenes and rather smell the popcorn. There will be even special awards for Best Olfactography and Best Original Smellplay and Adapted Smellplay. Stereo smell systems would create a L and R smell for either of those nose openings. You can upload old smells from your trip and tag your friends on Facebook and comment - 'This is where Raj was smelling like a horse', or 'Aww Simran you are smelling chho chweeet!'
We may be distorting our lifestyles in subtle and the not-so-subtle ways where our smelling mechanisms and fragrances will play a very significant nosey role. Who nose? ;-)



P.S - please watch the film Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Tom Tykwer. Awesome flick!
Imagineer
If you are an English film buff, you would have probably realized that the title of this post :"We've Got Company!!" is one of the most abused dialogs in Hollywood films..as frequently as our own "agar maa ka doodh piya hain toh..." types. I mean take any Hollywood flick which has the military, special forces, cops, ops-teams, air force, etc. dealing with some supernatural calamity, creature or war like situation and some low-level officer seems ready with these 3 words. Let me enlighten you with an example -

eg.  -  Some military officer seems to notice something happening out there on his radar or whatever and the first thing he says is: "Sir! I think you should see this" and gets a hassled senior officer on the scene. Then using a slew of the latest technology they find out that they are screwed big time..then they would probably discuss this in an emergency meeting with the "Mr. President" from the White House.... (u get the picture!) >>>FFWD to the scene where a team of special forces are tracking down a lost Godzilla/an angry dinosaur/inhospitable alien or whatever. The person-in charge is generally a jerk and that's why doesn't become the hero. So another junior level officer realizes that they have been followed by the concerned antagonist and then voila! he hits pay-dirt  - turning on his walkie-talkie or headset he says the 3 magical words "We've got company".

Gimme a break!! Don't think just because English films look good they are good. WE Indians are not inferior in any way when it comes to films. Reallllllleeee.. My patriotic self will make you realize the shallowness of these 'gora' film-makers!!

Do you know why James Cameron's Avatar didn't get the Oscars for best film..coz he wasn't very original. I mean look down here.






and this...


See what I mean!! I got this in my mail a few days back and then I realized the inevitable truth behind it all. No wonder Avatar (the JC one) got 'hurt' by his own ex-wife's 'locker'. But like all things in India from yoga to ayurveda to Mumbai slums don't have value until its branded as 'Made in India' out there in Christopher Columbus' discovery!
                 I mean look at us. We are the land of discovering everything from 'zero' to 'kamasutra' (wow! what a range!) Surely we would have done justice to even the film crop harvest here. In fact we did but never realized that we were the forefathers of modern martial arts. I mean two decades before the Matrix trilogy, Charlie's Angels and John Woo's physics defying stunts, we already had our own films with Mithun and the great Rajnikant. Mind it! For the truly patriotic here's Mithun Da's inimitable fight doing break dance from Waqt Ki Awaaz (priceless!!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l93sHapmN8

Rajni and Mithun Da were way ahead of their times. They did not need all these FX, green screens and hanging from cables in their times. There were no strings attached...it was pure, unadulterated entertainment with a tamacha on all Newtonian laws.  They must've been the 'inspiration' for the Wachowski brothers to make the Matrix, I am sure.
The great legendary directors like T. Prakash Rao, K. Bapaiyah etc (these initials are important to be really creative) went beyond the frontiers of science and showed us the extreme possibilities of human endurance (I mean for the viewers!) We should be thankful to YouTube and MoserBaer for discovering these hidden gems for us.

So next time you watch any of these Hollywoody hi-tech, ultra-secure action thrillers like I mentioned earlier, just understand that its stylized crap - poop with a red ribbon! I mean take this situation from any Hollywood action  film nowadays. Some techie hacks into the mainframe and he actually gets a 3D blueprint/map of the entire complex. He just punches the keyboard 'ffft fft  fffft' looking very important and clever and he brings up the entire building rotating in an arc right in front of your eyes. Apparently this guy has a access to any kind of file anywhere in the world and God only knows which plan he uses for his broadband connection. (I mean it took me two full minutes to upload those pics above on my connectivity!) Imagine this kind of a hacker in Indian films - has he ever tried to open any government site? Forget the impressive 3D blueprints of the Mantralaya, he would probably finish his coffee before the 2D homepage opens!!
And all those masked, special-ops team with night-vision/infra-red/ heat tracking goggles and kevlar vests with smart guns at eye level breaking in with these kinda dialogs:

"move! move! move!"
"Delta one secure perimeter"
"Roger that Bravo one"
" Sector 7 secured!"
"Roger that Delta One"

Now imagine our desi pandus raiding a dance bar beyond permissible timings in the same scenario
"Chala! Chala! Chala"
"Havaldar Gawande secure perimeter"
"Roger that Kadam saaheb"
"Apsara Bar secured"
"Roger that Gawande"

See? It just doesn't work for our desi palate! And still our Mumbai police is probably the 3rd most effective agencies in the world without all that paraphernalia. Occasionally we lose our important people because the bullet-proof vests aren't bullet proof enough which is pretty unfortunate in reality. But I guess we don't just look techno-savvy enough for ourselves. We never seem to see our own geeky reflection in the mirror of  Indian cinema which is ironically really larger than life otherwise. I guess that's one reason why conventional sci-fi films in Hindi never get made.
 But till then we have our very own Sanjay Guptas & Vikram Bhatts who can get 'inspired' from one Hollywood flick and make 4 films out of that. How they manage to pull this off is a raaz which remains unsolved. The mystery continues..   ;-)
Imagineer
               People often tell me that its so nice not to do the same things over and over again in my kind of job. Well they may not be totally wrong. Especially considering that I left a nice stable, well paying career in IT and jumped into the 'creative' realm of the television industry. Though one always dwells on the grass being greener in other pastures we have our own ups and downs too. But that's not what I'm getting down to here.
              We are the people behind the camera. The people who toil day and night with blood, sweat and tears (well sweat anyway!) in the battles of TRPs, deadlines and creative changes to bring you all those shows on television which you keep flicking with the malevolent remote! We are termed as the unethical bastions of TVdom whose only mission in life is to suck the viewer into the cortex of that Idiot box! Umm..so how far are we from the truth? Let's leave it at that..
                Not to delve into media ethics, let me just talk about some funny incidents that seem to happen with all of us when we are part of a 'Crew'. The Crew is really the magical group of people who bring about the seemingly impossible miracle of the creation- of a film, or a show, an ad or whatever. Unlike a painting or a book, this piece of art is a supreme work of team-art. Everyone contributes in his/her own way to actually bring about something conceived as a simple basic idea. And that applies even to B-grade films. A lot of people have actually slogged to 'create' that visual delight!! So be a bit thoughtful for the 'crew' next time you slam a film! No seriously!

I mean look below -

Tohfa..
Tohfa..
Tohfa..
Tohfa..


             The quintessential Jeetendra song 'Tohfa tohfa' or the one above with Sridevi (Gori Tere Ang Ang Se- If u r keen enough check it out at http://www.mobilemastee.com/desi_videos/video/F-lIXk72izE/watch.html Howlarious!!). Anyways just look at the production value - the dozens and dozens of steel 'kalsis' one atop the other and with an equal number of ugly looking, underpaid extra females dancing around Sridevi and Jeetendra (in horrendously tight pants and white shoes!) Consider this - somebody actually took the pains (and unfortunately the liberty) to 'create' this visual delight which went down into the annals of Indian film history! Somebody must have actually been responsible to find a deserted beach, set up all those shining new kalsis in concentric circles, take auditions for the worst possible looking women from the Junior Artist Assoc. with skills in catching flying kalsis (pl refer link above - its so good its therapeutic!!), decide on the tightest costumes for Mr J, and choreograph the most embarrassing dance steps within those shining stainless steel columns (see- all that glitters is definitely not gold!)  But its no easy task being part of the crew - not the place for the faint hearted! So again I humbly request you not to trash all those films like Blue, Aladdin, Chandni Chowk to China - despite having the worst possible scripts it compensated with a lot of FX and action sequences which is a job that is commendable!
             I am proud to be associated with this industry. I made my choices and my choices made me. In this mean jungle only the fittest survive and I am wading through to my best abilities. 

            On a lighter note let me tell you one amazing experience I had. This was quite some years back when I was working for an ad for a herbal shampoo. When you see ads you know you have all these nicely framed pack shots of the products and their ingredients in superb close-ups. Something like pure white milk (incidentally white paint) being bombarded with almonds or strawberries in nice slow-motion shots. Well it has specialists and special cameras to shoot all those mind boggling shots! So coming back to our herbal shampoo shoot - it had amla in it...not the South African and not the South Indian but the Indian gooseberry as one of the main ingredients. So we needed to shoot some really tight nice close ups of those fruits falling in a glass box filled with water (or glycerin at times). Normally the fruit can look pretty dull. So for camera we needed to give it a sheen so the light could reflect nicely from its surface. So the director asked for some Vaseline which would serve the purpose. We were shooting at Filmistan studios in Goregaon and it was 2 am.  I was one of the asst. directors on the shoot and so me along with another guy took off to find a day-night chemist  to procure a pack of the much needed Vaseline.  

 Amla

CUT TO - we reach this 24-hour-open chemist nearby. I proudly went up to him with this production guy along with me and boldly asked the person behind the counter for a 'bada' pack of Vaseline! Imagine the plight of the chemist - 2 guys in the dead of the night asking for a bottle of vaseline -that too 'bada' pack! He eyed me and that guy suspiciously but eventually produced a pack scrutinizing our Dostana! Suddenly I realized the entire suspicion behind his eyes and explained we needed it for shooting purposes. And then we came back 'straight' to the set laughing out loud. :-)


 The Culprit 
Imagineer
So now that I have started my 1st blog with a fairly impressive title (that sounds French) and hooked your attention span at least till the end of this sentence, I would rather have you around for a while. Firstly I don't know French; (a language where 'thanks' is called 'merci'..woah!) and secondly the pun on the word 'piece de resistance' with 'Pisces' was a piece I couldn't resist! You know I'm the quintessential Pisces fish, born with rose colored spectacles, day dreamers, romantic..blah! blah! from any Linda Goodman's Sunsigns book. Born under a Water sign as they say. In fact my wife is a Piscean too, born on the Ides of March [Mar 15th]..anyways..point being I'm trying to demystify this entire Horoscope thing.

You know these sun signs, zodiac, ruling planets, traits, the works. Since a while we all are so attuned to go through the Horoscope section of any newspaper under the comic strip that we don't even give it a thought before reading it through..in fact after reading it too! None of us really do believe all the things given in there do we? 'Love is on the cards today' and you end up having a fight with your spouse, 'Finances will be good' on a day when you get pesky calls from credit card companies who remind you of the due dates in a irritatingly polite manner. Well you get the drift..more or less.

Note: For those suffering from attention deficit syndrome there is a Garfield comic strip and a cute Birdy game down there at the end of my blog!

I am not averse to the entire horoscope thing though. I mean look at me, I was born under the Pisces sign and traits associated with the sign like creativity, sensitivity, spirituality, intuitive, artistic..well I agree to not disagree what with the likes of Aamir Khan to Einstein to support me. (But Pisceans are also fickle minded, escapists, unreliable...ahem! well you win some you lose some) However this entire discussion is not about why a Sagittarius girl always have a myopic view of people around her or a Virgo person is almost genetically challenged with an obsessive compulsive disorder, but  how do these things come about. 

I mean come to think of this  - the planet Saturn is 9 times the size of earth. This is enough reason to ponder why such a huge planet has the time and concern to meddle into the lives of us teeny lesser mortals. Yet 'Shani' hampers one's chances of getting a good job, a beautiful wife, a raise, a home...a life. As if the planet had nothing better to do in the solar system. People wear talismans, amulets, stones and rings to appease the representative God (come to think of it Saturn has enough rings himself). 
      
I am kinda looking at this as a physics student. Though not an authority on stellar physics nor astrology, my curiosity gets the better of me when I try to look at astrology through a scientific magnifying glass. Why do we educated Indians especially, so conveniently have a disjointed perspective towards both these subjects is beyond me. Does it all boil down to Newtonian laws? Does the gravitational pull of huge planet like Jupiter which is 318 times heavier than the earth (ok! ok! I confess I looked up in Wikipedia :P) determine whether some girl living in Dombivali falls for some guy from Ghatkopar(East)! Or does Earth's distant fiery cousin Mars meddles with the HR department of some company in Bengaluru where some keen, geek-eyed software professional loses out on an opportunity to land up a decent job? 

9 planets and other solar bodies thrown in for good measure control the trivial events in billions of lives residing on 30% on one of them?? Food for thought! I shall be really happy if I meet someone who can demystify this stuff for me. I shall thank my stars then...and those planets too! ;)